she goes

I just lay there above her, peering at the dangling stem the past had to present. I just sat on the puffy leather couch with my hand sloughing the air between her breasts to pamper the skin of her soft brunette neck. She pet the hairs of my arm, swaying her hand to my hand at once, and up to my lips at others. And all I could think of was that it may be too good.

It is quite odd how life can be transient at times. If it is too easy, if it is too good, if it is too compatible, it is a heck of a dream. And an alarm always awaits.

I can still taste the salts of her tears, her moaning misery over the heart she just buried deep down in her breaths. The time she spent holding my shirt and pinching some of my skin with her eyes against my core. I still feel her lips crawling and mumbling against the many many portions of her past. Her head against my shoulder, her smile before my day, her gasps along my details. And I smile. I smiled but we were already overlapping in a thought lap that engulfed her into the bear barrel of my mirror situations. She saw her in me. She stepped in, and I let her. Then, I loved that I did.

After many times together, after numerous boxes of milkshakes and knitting words together, things started to change. She missed me now. She missed me madly. We no longer said " What's up". We spent overnights talking about dreams, food, sex, magic, science and, well, other spooky stuff.

I never expected to find what I had anytime soon. When I did, I thought I did not want to let go. But summer is gone, now. And honey, somethings are just too good to last. She is not ready yet. She cries the same way she laughs because she remembers the same way she anticipates. She knows she wants herself more than anything now.

Summer is over now. Her last of the philosophy books she was reading is in her box next to her shampoo and body lotions. She's packing up her details away but one of her hair pins and a handful of words. She is taking away the last of the hot summer whiffs. She is stacking her life in her backpack. She has to leave now.

Has Risen

When we first met

In silence and in stares

More grew your looks at class

More interested you seemed

More, then me, but with never dares

You glowed a smile to pages

With which I sought a chapter

Never payed attention my book

Was to right itself with your pen

Forever after..

But then words fell in place

And perished at my lips

Complicated grew the odds

But the stares were never chipped

Your details rose more peculiar

More amazing to my thoughts

And I stepped into your heart

Thrilled to savor your depth 

To taste your bits and lots

But pale grew the fact

That hid behind the dreams

That we are too far apart

Never together to be deemed

So just another pint

For us over the night

And maybe we'll just toast

The wrongs to be rights

Or maybe we'll just call

The sun to never rise

To spend the night with you

At the dark that never dies

But the suns and life we have

Can never but reveal the truth

That the night can never last

And the light must have a due.

And the sun has risen.

Sea, Swim and Sink

          The water was so satisfying tonight. The temperature of the gentle swerves pet that of the wooden barrel's top at the gaze of a sun's village morning. That warm coldness. The dew has not fully evaporated from the sides where the metal rings still managed to endorse the content half- rusty. Just before the dip of the stainless steel bulk gulped a mundane need of waters to wash the footsteps at the front door and remove the laughs of the drunk last night. Right there, between every echoing sway and another from the barrels top, I fell more into the dream I had last night.

          I spent the entire night swimming. The same viscous water tickling the outside of my palm, triceps, my outer pecks down to my hips and till my toes. With every breaking wave, I gasped one more time. Another breath. Another dip. Another day. I was drowning to that person just in front of me. Everytime I flexed my arms open to push fluid underneath, I figured it was never projected to swim,.

          All I wanted was to reach the perpetual mimic floating the surface just across my fingertips. Everytime I slapped the waves behind me, I became more aware that it was not the desire to move on that has gotten me to swim. It was rather the desperate plead not to drown in place, but drown in her shadow.

          Tonight, and for long long nights that passed, I reeled all the way down my corridor, flipped the light switch just outside my door shut, moved my heavy feet against the childishly knit cartoon mat, and buried my body underneath the two thick sheets of dreams and gently drowned in my bed. Vigorously drowning in my feelings. Peacefully choking with the gurgling fact that I, again, had fallen.

          Every night, I went for a swim. However, tonight was the first of all where I finally managed to see the water, to taste the salt and chlorine squeaking midst my cuspids and some of which that actually slipped a little further. Tonight, I became aware that all the talks and promises that I spent the last year inflating my arm floats and lifeguard jackets with were empty. All the people that volunteered to blow full my path down the very seas were blowing up the waves.
          I actually never needed the arm floats or the lifeguard jacket. All I wanted was to swim. Naked. Stripped from all social constraints and eternal screaming seagulls above the near. All I wanted was to swim.

          The jacket is gone. No more floats are anymore needed. No screams. The floating buzz always in front of my fingertips, never in my reach, does not belong to me anymore. All has been set apart. I stopped my arms. I sloughed my intense rhythmic breaths and was left alone to a short heavy steady breath. I've smiled now, relaxed my corners and gently drowned into the waters. The realm where I for long existed does not exist anymore. It is all gone with another gulp from the barrel, under the cold morning light, just to wash the drunks of last night, just to drown back awake from under my two thick sheets.